It Won't Always be This Way

It will not always be this way is something I say often. It helps me and encourages me. I feel lonely in this situation. I mention it and it's kind of dismissed and I am somewhat tired of it but it is what I signed up to do. I have to keep that in mind. I promised to be supportive and I said I would take the back seat. I suppose that means anything involving me will do. I guess it's true what they say, be careful what you say. I realize it won't be this way always and I still have God on my side to help me through all of this. I'm a strong woman, sometimes. I haven't felt strong lately. I have to realize there are more important things to think about and care about and God knows I am trying to put my issues to the side. I am trying to handle things and remain understanding. Today's Sunday school lesson reminded me that I can't be upset when things don't seem to be happening to those who hurt you. Well, I can't dwell on that either. I don't really care at this point what happens. I did what I needed to do and it is what it is. That is usually what I am told so that's what I go by these days. My mood is not good lately and I have been pretty down. I am unhappy too. I'm tired and I feel drained. I still have my joy because I know this won't last forever. I know that life is not about yourself. It's about helping others and being there for others even if it isn't reciprocated. I have to stop complaining about these things and move on with my life. I have a lot in which to be grateful but it does get very hard at times. I do find myself deep in thought so very often. I think about things I have going on and I am usually very happy. I am usually at peace within myself but I think God is really shaking things up around me and in my life. I am going to have to decide what I want and if I want it, am I willing to deal with it long term. Of course I am without a question but will I get what I need in return is the question I ask myself. Do I have to ask constantly for just a little more? I know people aren't mind readers but it is tough and sometimes I feel I need someone too. It's okay though. I will be okay. I have faith that God is working it all for me. I don't stress about things. He reminds me that Joy comes in the morning. Although it has felt like night a lot lately, I do realize morning does have to come into my life. I have remaining prayerful and I know things won't be this way always.