Functional Feminity

I have to give credit to the one who gave me the idea to even attempt to write about this and the feminine side of it. He will handle the masculine side of it and maybe one day, it all will fall into place. I am a single mother and I have been for over three years now. Being a single parent is hard but it's not difficult. The blessing in it is raising a beautiful child that God has given you to raise and instill values in them and to lead them the way they should go and that's to Him. I am raising a child who doesn't have a relationship with her earthly father and that's okay because I will make sure she knows she is loved and she has a lot of family who clearly love her so that will never be a doubt in her mind about that. I do know that one day she will wonder about her biological father and if he hasn't taken a stand by that time, I will tell her the truth. However, I will not bash him or talk down about him to her. With saying that, I want to talk more about that. I feel it is wrong for a woman to keep a father away from his child. Allow me to rephrase that, a good father. A father who only has his child(ren)'s best interest at heart. He provides for them mentally and monetarily. He loves them with all his heart and it hurts him to not have them around. A lot of women will use the children as pawns to try to hurt that man. It can be because she is evil, bitter or whatever be the case. It's wrong to do and I don't like it. I don't like when a mother talks poorly about the father. I understand there are dead-beat dads out there, but I don't think you should talk to your child about his/her father as if that child is your best friend. That child doesn't need to know that his/her father is a jerk or an ass or whatever choice word is used. I feel a mother should reach out to a father who isn't there as much as her heart tells her and one day, after she has done what she can, that child will be old enough to make the decision to not communicate with their father. I personally wouldn't want it to get there because you should respect your parents but I do know it could get there. I just want women to do what is right and in the end, it will work out fine. That child will one day become an adult and that child will have his own children. What you taught that child growing up will most likely come up and come out of that child as an adult. One day I was at work on the phone with a lady. I was working on something for her so she was on hold but I still had her on the line. The way that woman talked to her child was terrible!! She called that child a black, ugly bastard and he was just like his father. That broke my heart into pieces. I could never talk to Hannah like that and tell her she was no good and that she is ugly. That mother was not helping her child at all that day. She hindered that child and I pray he doesn't grow up thinking he is no good but there is a strong chance he will. He will grow up thinking he is no good like his daddy and he will also not be there for his children. However, there can be a positive outcome to that. He could take what his mother said to him and make the decision that he will not allow that to define him and limit him to what he can do. I feel we as parents can really help to mold our children into good and respectful people. If that young man does end up using what his mom said negatively, than the cycle will repeat. One day someone will have to break it. Then you start to wonder how a mother could talk to her child like that and then you realize maybe it happened to her too. It's an ongoing negative cycle. I pray one day it just end. I feel it's important for a mother to love and nurture her babies and be there for them. I know it's hard out there and some of us are doing it completely alone and some have government assistance. I think all of that is good but I just pray mothers will decide that they will do all they can to be positive with their children and guide them on the right path and lead them to Christ. I feel it's important to spend time with your child even if it's sitting on the couch with her watching Dora the Explorer for the 5th time or counting to 50 for the 3rd time and even reading the same book for the 100th time. All of that goes into molding and making your child so much better and helping their growth. I'm not a perfect mother and I never will be perfect but I do what I can. Every chance I get to have my child with me, I take it. I just love knowing my child is in the other room but I know she is with me. I know she will run through the house and say "hey, momma, what you doing" and she will ask that question 300 times but it's okay. It's a thrill watching your child trying to be sneaky. It's cute because you are looking right at her trying to get that fruit snack and she is looking back at you. It's funny but it's a time for discipline but it's still a time to just cherish your child and the joys of childhood. I think it's important that children are allowed to be children. It's okay for them to do things on their own because usually they think they can. This is cliche` but our children are our future. They are our future teachers, lawyers, doctors or even genetic scientists. We have to set the foundation and pray that it stands strong. The Bible does say to lead a child in the path he should go and we he is old, he will not depart from it. So, no matter what your child does or how many times he will get off track, if you have built that strong, Godly foundation, he will always go back to it.