I'm a mommy

I was eating lunch with my daughter today and she was eating, humming and she was happy and I looked at her and I thought, I still can't believe I am a mommy. I look at her and she is so beautiful and some of her mannerisms remind me so much of myself. She has her own little personality and it's so bright and friendly. She is soooo smart, sweet and very considerate and she has a little attitude sometimes but we are working on that. She is very special to me and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was soooo shocked. I contemplated an abortion but I ended up consulting with the pastor where I attended church at the time and things were worked out. I decided I would do everything I needed to do to make it work so I could keep her. The day she was born was a very strange day for me. I didn't feel a connection with her. I think I was scared and I think she picked up on that because she would always rather be with my aunt. I didn't blame her to be honest. I am grateful for my aunt for being there for me once again through one of my mistakes. I remember when I was in the hospital and I was upset and she told me to be grateful because I had a beautiful daughter and I needed to focus on her. I will admit I haven't been the best mother but a lot of the things I do, I do for her. I make a lot of sacrifices that people don't know about for her. I refuse to shop for myself because I feel I may need the money for something she needs.

I love being a mommy especially to my child. I am grateful to God for the blessing He gave me in my daughter. She is an angel and I would be broken if anything ever happened to her so I make sure nothing happens. I pray for her all the time. I prays she grows up to be a nice, sweet, humble young lady who is focused with a good head on her shoulders and I want her to know I love her and God loves her the most. She is my baby and she always will be...

I love you Hannah E.