Update

****Names have been changed for privacy purposes and cuz it's a small world...lol**** It's been a week or so since I made the decision to date. I'm still not really meeting guys who don't have relationship issues. One doesn't believe I don't like him and another just ended an 11year relationship with someone about 6 months ago. Then there is one that I like kind of as a friend but not at all as anything more. I will say why about these guys. I'm not going out and meeting these guys but they are coming to me which sucks. *sighs* So, let's break them down. Let's name the first one Kendall. Kendall is okay. His personality is different. I won't go into a lot of details about him but there has been quite a bit of intimacy between us. He can be difficult at times and somewhat sarcastic but not in a mean way. I do like him a lot but he doesn't think I do because I say he is mean. Well, hell, he is but I have the tendency to be extremely sarcastic at times with him. I have tried to remove myself from him many, many times but he always would come back. He never gave me the space I requested. I can't say I really wanted it but ya know it would have helped. Now, I have to make the decision to tell him that I want him to move on because it isn't going anywhere with us. He works all the friggin time... I mean every single day... no day off, no nothing... So I can say he is all about taking care of business... Then there is Jackson. I like him too. He has a lot going on with him. He is probably the only one who wants a relationship. I think his issue is that he misses having a girlfriend. He was with her for 11 years and he loves her. I don't want to be the rebound chick for him. I'm not sure what to do. He says he is ready for a relationship but we will see.. We talk all the time via text and we have spent time together too and it was sooooooo nice. It was sweet but I just don't know. I'm nervous about him and I have voiced my concerns. I think I will give it some space and see what happens... Then there is Roderick. He has the potential to be a really good friend if he could stop arguing. He does want to spend time with me and stuff and I can't knock that. I'm open to seeing what he is thinking but honestly, I don't like to argue and he does and I'm just not that into that. It's a turn off.... He does have the tendency to take things the wrong way. Then finally there is the last guy. He is my absolute favorite but he is in school working toward a very important part of his life and future. We have become really good friends and I love him dearly as a friend. I like him soooo much as a woman who is attracted to the opposite sex. HE is a wonderful man and he makes me smile. He has been a very good positive part of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I could say a lot about him but I will end it here. He knows who he is without me even having to rename him. Brandon is my homie. I tell him he is going to be my husband one day. It's a joke but we have been friends for a very long time. Longer than I have known the previous 4 guys. He has been there for me through thick and thin and through heartbreak and pain. He has been there when I needed to vent and cry. He is a talker... boy can he talk... he can give these ultra long monologues...but i love him dearly... Brandon is his real name by the way...lol