Oh Father, where art thou??

I never would have imagined that I would be a single parent. I don't regret it but I always wanted my child to have both parents in her life. I thought when I was pregnant he would be but he quickly showed me that he wouldn't. I never stopped being her mom and being there for her and I never will stop. As they years go by, I will still be here. I'm her mother and she need me and I need her. I do know that in time she will need a father in her life. I know people can make it in life with one parent but the heartbreak of having just one because he chooses to not be there is a lot to handle for me. I tried from day one to have him in her life but he never even tried. When I was headed into the hospital, I called him. He called me back but never came to see her. She is 3 years old now and he has seen her maybe less than 10 times in 3 years. He doesn't pay child support either. I wish I had more money but I wish more that she had a father. He feels it's my fault because he want her to come to his house without me. I refuse to allow her to go to his house without me especially since she doesn't even know him. No parent would allow their child to go with a stranger. His argument, she goes to daycare... My argument, I know those people. I don't know him at all. He was a mistake. I have tried many, many times to have him in her life but it's more about him. If he can't have it his way, then he just won't be there. I told him he can come see her anytime but he only came twice before stopping. I have to admit I did tell him that if he stopped coming again, he can just stop forever because I won't allow him to run in and out of her life. It isn't fair to her at all. If God is willing, He may bless me with a nice man who will take the role of father to her and treat her like she is biologically his. I do tend to get frustrated at times but I am okay. I never take it out on her. She did nothing wrong and she doesn't deserve it. One thing I know, she will be just fine and I will make sure of it.